I asked you my beloved Huggers if you trusted me. A few of you dedicated Huggers answered YES! Me too ! I trust you and love you and you may find it strange! You all have no idea of your personal power. You have no idea that over the past few months you have been healing me and others. Why? You see, we have the God given ability and gift to be the gate keepers of our body, mind and spirit . No, I didn’t really understand it or consider it for a very long time but what I did realise was that fourteen years ago when diagnosed with breast cancer
I had been in training with God to Iive the dream life and do as I always wanted to do. I had the wonderful adorable husband, the beautiful young children, my beloved Dad and family, and an up and coming successful career (because I worked through treatment to make it a success ). I flew successful through it all and was healthier and fitter than ever. Then my Personal Development Life took over. I wanted to help people learn to embrace life and health. I wanted to provide a holistic environment and that’s where The Glade took over my life and my money. I was blind to investments. For me, I get what I want. So I poured everything into The Dream and lost everything. My children’s college funds, my inheritance and my soul. I was devastated and deeply depressed. Drinking too much, hating myself, ashamed, resentful yet I turned it around again.
I created a group called EDWIB – Edenderry and District Women Mean Business. My daughter inspired me to be brave and go ahead with the article inviting women to join me on the couch in the square, Edenderry, so we could help each other develop our business and community work. Again, it was a massive success but I made the mistake of giving my professional time as a business consultant, photographer and PR for free, as members benefited financially. My idea about the charity I founded was thrown out at an EDWIB gathering and that broke my heart.
Again, I knew I wouldn’t let anything or anyone stop me and I am deeply proud of Little Wishes success now. However, the real reason to share is that the one thing that debilitated me for so long was FEAR. Over the past 15 years I personally raised and donated thousands of euro for charity in particular cancer charities. My greatest achievement was the last ball held 11 years ago after I got the “all clear” and in thanksgiving I brought a team together to run an amazing event which raised in excess of 54000 euro! The money was given to the Oncology Unit in Tullamore and Ofalia House in Edenderry, where my Dad was taken care of. I also donated personal funds to LARCC, Jack and Jill, Marie Keating, Irish Cancer Society, Dochas etc until I discovered how crazy I was! I realised my own community needed help.
Now my community are my family. Fear, despite qualifications, yearly study, attending seminars, workshops, reading since I was 16 with the first book being ” The Power of Positive Thinking” and coaching myself from being a fat f….ing failure, loser, waster, and disgrace to my family, to a qualified Life and Biz Coach with an idea to help others as I helped myself. But my deep seated fear and lack of confidence stopped me. I have been a show off, loud, smart ass my whole life and my family spent my life trying to keep me quiet. I’m a party girl so I love Facebook! Sharing is caring! But who would hire me?!
I’d been living a great life again and Gerry brought me to Portugal as a surprise! I knew something was wrong. My back hurt. So the journey began again. My cancer gang returned in my bones. Scary yes (it was three years ago me thinks ?!!), empowering yes! It just became a way of life. Hospital visits etc until it got serious. Oral chemo, blood transfusions, and a goal to cheer up patients every time I visited. Dr. B and I became close as did his amazing team. Dr B was good at respecting my holistic views. He has a huge faith in Our Lady, attending mass every morning. I photographed his family of seven kids and his wife Rose. I love him but he retired in Feb and I was so lost after 14 years together. My situation was stable despite a broken rib! I was introduced to my new female oncologist. Adorable. She took me off chemo to give my skin, which was on fire, a break. Her womanliness was refreshing! I was so grateful to be as well as I was as I was busy developing NIDA HUG which came from my heart and Little Wishes which came from my personal cancer journey and a huge need to help those in terrible fear and pain.
A few weeks before Paddy’s Day I went for my routine meet up with my new lady in Oncology, Tullamore. It was our third meet! I was doing fab and was high yet again leaving. However I mentioned a dizzy spell (she pulled info out of me! When asked how I am, my answer is always FANTASTIC ! She insisted I had an x-ray. Back again, alone, Gerry is always with me. I knew when I went into the room and she proceeded to take my hand that it wasn’t good. My nursing friends who I’ve known since the start were silent and ignoring me. My cancer folk had travelled to the summit of Nida. They were having one hell of a party! Drumming most nights and mornings, partying, and since I haven’t drunk much for years they decided to make me dizzy and drunk looking. I won’t deny I was upset a bit but more spiritually empowered. God gives the back to bear the burden and I was just honoured that he chose me yet again to help him. I cannot explain the gratitude I felt. Our Gratitude journey was a life saver and you guys, my beloved Huggers have been my life line.
So new treatment began headed by myself! I take responsibility for my own health and build a relationship with my medical people. My first job was to tell no one, only Gerry. Being Grand Marshall of The Parade was all happening at the time and building relationships with you and promoting my new business, so for the first time in six years I could earn my own living again and live a wonderful life was paramount.
My reason for not sharing is I don’t do sympathy or rumours or mice turning into elephants. Cancer is a billion dollar industry based on gripping fear. It gets far too much negative air time. It kills people by control. However there is always another side and I’m there! My condition has taken all my fear away and as I said to Dr B – I died many times over the years in my head so I don’t fear meeting my beloveds and spiritual mentors when God decides.
My eldest daughter proved to me that my strict ways in rearing them to be independent worked. First, the cancer led me to sharing experiences with Gerry and the girls. House, cars (although I love my Figaro!), show off crap, didn’t interest me but time did. Time with those I love. So during the first experience with cancer my business was so successful the first trip was to Lapland! I still watch the DVD I created every Christmas! Then it was Spain, Vienna, London, Paris, New York, Philadelphia, Vermont, Rome, Sorrento … ! What a blast!. Oh yes Dingle, Achill, Lacken, Galway, Skerries, Inis Mor, Inishbofin, Rahan, The Canal bank with sausage sandwiches, the back garden with tents made of sheets! Experiences are more important than things (quote by Katie Anne!). When my second wobble happened my girls were no longer only ten and six! So we talked. Katie Anne on hearing said
“ok Mam, as we are huge movie fans, remember Shawshank Redemption? Get busy living or get busy dying”!! Oh my God she takes after me and my beloved Mother, Carmel, who offered very little sympathy if you complained! Thank God that as a family we have enjoyed excellent health over the years and my personal experience is for good reason.
So I had to share with family a couple of weeks ago as I was going to Dublin for my spa time (radiotherapy). That was a very pleasant experience and fun! Lunch every day out! That’s over now and the good news is I’ll be right as rain by end of May! Yahooooo! So my loving request to you is : please continue to heal me and mine and more and many by THINKING ” Thank God for Nida’s perfect healing.”
Please do not speak of anyone’s illness in a negative way and share miserable dramatic rumours down town in the shops or in a bar. Do not get scared and see someone going downhill. You are responsible for your own and everyone else’s healing by using the tools and techniques I will continue to share.
We can change our own thinking and change our lives. Please trust me and I promise I love and trust you x
I’d like to lovingly thank my beloved Gerry who has spoiled me since we met at the Fleadh Cheoil in Sligo many moons ago. I fell in love and took him!
My beautiful intelligent kind loving caring bohemian daughters Katie Anne and Seana, who have minds of their own and love life,, my amazing siblings Paul, Niall, Anne, Michael and Orla, who are always there along with Sister in laws Margaret, Bernie and Anne, and my wild nieces and nephew.
I’m so proud of my parents who taught us strong family values, a love of community and partying, and more importantly leaving us a legacy of unconditional love for each other as a family. I feel beyond grateful to live a wonderful life right here right now.